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Looking for wedding bands on Etsy, I stumbled across LaurieSarahDesigns store. There I saw a section for what I read as “management rings.” Weird, I thought. Rings you get for managing at work? Rings you get from management as a long service award? Not completely unheard of, though. One of my bosses wears a beautiful ring with our newspaper’s name on it, and jokes that she is married to her job.

Then I looked a bit closer. It actually read “mangagement” rings. Adorable!

As you can see, they are a bit unusual for men’s rings. A bit more expensive than plain bands, as well. Pretty nice baubles for proposing to your boyfriend, though. Pretty far off from the plastic vinyl record toy ring I gave my man!

I, by nature, am not a manipulative person. I don’t like imposing on people and I don’t find ways to get them to do what I want. I simply ask, tell or request and put up with the yes or no answer. Sure, I may be a bit slow in asking and nervous and anxious about it, but eventually, I get around to it.

This is part of the reason I am asking my boyfriend to marry me. I’m gonna ask, and hope for a happy answer. That’s it. Shit, or get off the pot. We’ve discussed marriage a bit, but in no concrete terms. I have not prodded or dropped hints, although we joke about these things all the time.

Me, observing: “Oh, god, look at those hideous ass pom-pom decorations on that wedding car”

Him: “Is that a hint?”

And so forth.

Today, the awesome Dodai at Jezebel alerted me to an article in the New York Post (that fine upstanding publication) with 5 dos and don’ts for “getting him to the altar”. It’s actually a list compiled by the Lori Uscher-Pines who wrote “The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk.” Coincidentally, this book comes out tomorrow.

The book includes tips on:

  • How to know if it’s really time to push for a ring
  • The difference between me excuses, you excuses and institution of marriage excuses
  • The “severity” scale of common male excuses, and the associated tactics for changing his mind
  • Behavior fouls not to make on the quest for a proposal

Uh…”quest for a proposal”…?!

The don’ts: Don’t become your boyfriend’s therapist. Don’t have friends ask him about marriage and lobby for you. Don’t withhold things, like sex, to get the ring. Don’t go public with your anger at not being engaged. Don’t go crazy emotional at other people’s weddings because they have what you do not.

The dos: Do talk about your expectations and hopes for the future. Spend time with other happy couples.  Do break down barriers; he says he can’t afford the ring? Tell him you don’t need one. Create dependency. Do carry on with your life. (Okay, she actually says to initiate major life change, but I just read it as CARRYING ON WITH YOUR DAY TO DAY LIVING)

Now, this is angering on a lot of levels. I hate that it preys on women with little self confidence. I also question how come none of these options are on the list: be patient and wait, leave him or ask him yourself? Or, the most obvious: get pregnant. If we’re gonna play hardball here…

Joking aside, if it’s something that’s important to you, you should find someone who it is also important to. Not someone you have to set it all up for and show him the way to. Men aren’t dumb. They just sometimes aren’t that into it. No book or recipe for engagement chicken is going to change his opinion on things.

NYPost: Make Your Moove: Top 5 Dos and Don’ts to get him to the altar

Jezebel: Writer Suggests Manipulating Your Man into Marriage

Baseball diamond ring, anyone?

Baseball diamond ring, anyone?

Before I came up with the idea of the nesting matyroshka doll proposal for my man, I considered many many other options. A custom beer bottle, fancy dinner at Vegas restaurant, renting a billboard, a treasure hunt… maybe I’ll blog about those ideas some day, for those out there unsure on the best way to propose to their boyfriends.

In any case, something I had also considered was something to do with football. He is an NFL fan, but since we live in Canada, it was going to be hard to pull something together. Sporting events seem a popular place for proposals. Perhaps because it’s public and it’s something both of the engagees enjoy; or atleast I hope so! I, personally, would find it overwhelming and a bit embarrassing to have that much attention, it’s just not my thing.

In any case, Yankee Stadium, the spot of many Jumbotron/diamondvision proposals, is closing/moving this year after 85 years of baseball! Michael C Fina, the jeweller, and Hearts on Fire wanted the last proposal there to be something special so they held a contest for people to win the opportunity to be the last proposal there.  The winner of the contest won a 1.5 carat Hearts On Fire diamond engagement ring valued at $40,000, four Yankees tickets, and a televised marriage proposal during the final game at the original Yankee Stadium.

So, on September 18, Bill Davis proposed to Kate Cannon…and she said yes! Davis won the contest out of 8000 entries. Seemed like a good couple to get it done; they met after Davis’ first wife passed away, and fell in love while attending Yankee games together. There are plans to incorporate a Yankee theme into their wedding.

I doubt you need a $40,000 ring to do it, but if you guy is into baseball and he’s into public events, maybe a baseball game is a good place to ask him to marry you.

Here are some beautiful ring alternatives for your man, in wood.

Some things to consider when thinking about getting a wood ring:

  • durability. Some woods are softer than others, and no wood will be as strong as even a softer metal. Probably not the best choice for someone who works with their hands a lot.
  • sizing. Because it’s wood, the sizing should be right the first time, it’s difficult (if impossible) to resize. Do two measures, one upon waking, and the other in the middle of the day.
  • price. Wood rings can be considerably more affordable than other materials, but can be upgraded with metals and inlays.
  • inscription. Wood can be easily burnt into or inscribed upon making personalization very easy.
  • The meaning of the wood. Here is a sample of some meanings behind different types of woods.

First row, left to right: Juniper heart ring from touchwoodrings & titanium and jarrah inlay ring from Rob and Lean on etsy.

Second row, left to right: A koa and titanium ring from tropical grains,  wood and silver from wood-rings.com, the next three are all from woodenringsandthings.com; walnut and bloodwood, ebony, maple and bocote and purpleheart & walnut and lignum vitae.